MacBros’ Place |

THIS IS INCREDIBLE…. Read all the Numbers… Slowly and in Order!!
Be Careful not to MISS ANY

I just love these quizes. Don’t you?

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this…A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.

After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00. When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an  olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

“But we didn’t use them,” the man complains. “Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.

“But we didn’t go to any of those shows, “complains the man again. “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But sir,” he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.” “That’s correct,” says the man. “I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager. Well, too bad,” the man replies. “She was here and you could have.

E-mail From Edna: Naughty Girl.

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do they’re own study.

After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex .

Newfoundlanders, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study . After 2 weeks, a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer they concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead

When I am at work, I am usually always wearing a t-shirt. Well actually I am ALWAYS wearing a t-shirt. Mainly because they’re more comfortable is the hot kitchen. My t-shirts are also loose because I get them a size to big.

Well anyway, at work there is this one lady that says she likes coming up and reading my t-shirts. I have a few Funny Tshirts with things like, “DON’T READ THIS! Get your own t-shirt.” and a few band t-shirts with bands like Pink Floyd, and another t-shirt with Miami Ink designs.

I can remember a time when you could go into a place and find Funny Tshirts all over the place. The only time that I actually find one is when I stumble across it hidden in amongst tons of other t-shirts. I usually will snatch it up if I have the funds to buy it. Besides t-shirts are cheap too.

Some people might find them corny, but I actually like them. Tasteful ones that is. Ones you can wear in the workplace and not offend anybody. Although the Funny Tshirts that have the sexist jokes on them too are also funny. I just wouldn’t wear one to my job though. That would be a bad idea considering the people that I work with LOL

Funny Tshirtz is a fun place that sells all the type of t-shirts that are both funny and insulting. Both my kind of  t-shirts. They even have t-shirts for you babies. T-shirts with sayings like, “For Sale By Parents”, and “I get breast fed… Stick around for the show!”

Even though the t-shirts are cheap, you even get a 30 day money back guarantee if some reason your not satisfied.  And you know what I like about the site most of all? They accept PayPal!

This is also just my opinion, and you’re entitled to it.

Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, ‘You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?’

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, ‘Everything but my earrings.’

Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. ‘Where’s Henry?’ the others asked.

‘Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,’ the successful hunter replied.

‘You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?’ they inquired.

‘A tough call,’ nodded the hunter. ‘But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!’

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, ‘Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head’. ‘Yep’, he replied. ‘That’s why I dumpin it here, cause it says ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage’.

Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard saying… ‘When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.’ When asked why, he replied he’d rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, ‘Bubba, somebody just stole y our pickup truck from the parking lot!’

Bubba replied, ‘Did you see who it was?’

The young man answered, ‘I couldn’t tell, but I got his license number.’

Georgia
A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, ‘Got any I.D.?’

The driver replied, ‘Bout whut?’

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was..

The man replied, ‘I have a flat tire.’

The passerby asked, ‘But what’s with the flowers?’

The man responded, ‘When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don’t make no sense to me neither.’

South Carolina
‘You can say what you want about the South, but I ain’t never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North

Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mum if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, “No”.

Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?”

His mum replies, “I don’t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.”

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mum, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

She replies, “No.”

Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?” His mum replies, “Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.”

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

His mum says, “No.”

He asks, “Do you know what I think?”

His Mum replies, “Ok, do tell me what you think?”

He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy

The 87 year old said “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, “Do you have any rye bread?”

She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?”

He said, “I want 5 loaves.”

She said, “My goodness, 5 loaves…by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it’ll be hard”

He replied, “I can’t believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me.”